Join a church, the Lions, the Knights of Columbus, boyscouts, -whatever. If your life up to now is shaping up so that your only legacy is an obituary that says "all he/she ever did was turn food into shit" move to North Korea. They need more shit. . . .
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of
St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of
clocks behind him.
He asked, "What are all those clocks?"
St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on
Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on
your clock will move."
"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that one?"
"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved,
indicating that she never told a lie."
"Incredible," said the man, "and whose clock is that
one?"
St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock.
The hands have moved twice, telling us that old Abe
only told two lies in his entire life."
"Where's Paul Martin's or Jean Chrétien's clock?" asked
the man.
"They're in Jesus' office. He's using them as ceiling
fans."
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