...Came from my wife. She'd gotten an email from someone at the school where she works poking fun at the mental-gymnastics necessary to buy into the whole 'politically correct' language thing. Sadly, this truly funny email is grounds for getting fired in a contemporary school system, so I'm not saying anymore about this email's origins.
I find it sad too, that the biggest workplace bugaboo of the 1990s, sexual discrimination, is now a pale spectre next to the 21st century's big taboo - tellling the truth about the dangers of multiculturalism. Interesting there's no religious referrences in this email either.
New approved politically correct terms:
Due to the Climate of
You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.
Furthermore, it has come to the school board's attention that it is becoming harder and harder to talk about other people without violating their offensensitivity, so the following guidlines have been announced:
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1 She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN".
2. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE".
3. She is not a "DUMB BLOND" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE
4. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION".
5 . She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE".
6. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER".
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN
2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN".
3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION".
5. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of
6. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR